“I don’t want to get married…”

We all know someone who has had a breakup or even a divorce.

I know you came here to see what this blog has to say about marriage, and I started with the ‘breakup and divorce’ holler right in the first line. Why? Because you may not want to get married for several reasons, and one of them could be: what if it doesn’t work out?

But what if it does work out? Look around – do the people going through the pain of separation outnumber those enjoying a happy partnership?

The real point I want to get across is this: ask yourself – are you open to love? That’s a strong question, and it may take you a moment to get it. So let’s try again: are you open to love? Are you ready to take that step? I don’t mean just flings or casual dating, but actually building a life with someone. Does the thought of ‘building a life’ with someone scare you? Well, it should.

Here’s the thing: people who end up going through breakups or divorce were, at one point, open to love. And they may be open to love again. Being open to love means you’re willing to be vulnerable and take that leap. Ask anyone who’s been in a serious relationship, and they’ll say that the upside far outweighs the risk. So, I’ll ask again—are you open to love? Can you take that risk, or do you want to stay confined in your protective shell forever?

“I don’t want to get married” is often just the symptom. The underlying reason is something else. More often than not, the reasons people add after saying, “I don’t want to get married because…” or “I don’t want to get into a relationship because…” reflect a deeper issue of not being open to love and willing to take that risk.

Just to be clear, I’m not asking you to rush into anything. I’m not secretly sponsored by your parents to write this blog 😄, and I definitely don’t want to ruin your single-life fun by suggesting you get hitched. Consider this a word of caution so that when you reach that point, you’ll be better prepared to assess whether your reasons for staying single hold up.

“Alright, alright,” you might be thinking, “let’s say I am open to this love thing. What now? Should I go out and marry any random person off the street?” Of course not! Take your time. Reflect. Here are a few things you may want to consider (this list isn’t exhaustive, of course):

1. What do you want in a partner and in a relationship? If you don’t know what you want, the chances of finding it are pretty low.
2. Once you answer point 1, think about how your ideal partner would answer the same question. Ask yourself, what do you bring to the table? Do you need to work on yourself? Where could you improve?
3. While doing all this, remember: Pobody’s Nerfect! We’re all works in progress.
4. Understand that relationships require time and effort. You may need to let go of some habits, compromise on movie choices, and accept that you won’t be the sole decision-maker in the house.
5. Long-term compatibility is key. Think about your goals and what truly matters to you. If you’re financially savvy, for example, it may be hard to be with someone who spends impulsively. If your lifestyle (food habits, religion, etc.) isn’t up for debate, it’s better to avoid someone who’s totally opposite. Physical attractiveness fades; character doesn’t.

And for those of you who read this far and feel your parents are not going to approve of your relationship and the blog says nothing about it, well the blog asked the key question in the beginning itself. When you are open to love, you are open to not just a heartbreak but also open to go against the World. Open to take the relationship to the next level come what may!

If you’ve read this far and are wondering, “what if my parents don’t approve?” – remember, the blog raised the key question right at the start. When you’re open to love, you’re not just open to potential heartbreak but you’re also open to go against the world. You’re ready to take the relationship to the next level come what may!

PS – I’d love to know what you have to say on this subject. I do know that every person has a philosophy around love and relationships 😉